That Awkward Mommy Stage

In the first few weeks after Aaliyah was born I went through this terrible awkward mommy stage. I was flying blind. Sure at first things were great, because I finally got to hold her in my arms. But then we were discharged from the hospital and we took her home. I remember on the drive home thinking to myself, “I’m really a mom now.” And I had no idea what I was doing. It was a little scary.

I began taking things one day at a time. George had taken a few weeks off work, which was nice having him around. But since I was breastfeeding, there wasn’t a whole lot he could do. Luckily for the first four weeks all she really needed was to eat, sleep, and be changed. Tasks that I was more than capable of accomplishing. But soon there were other things she needed and random situations that I was constantly running into. And after a few weeks, George had to go back to work. Which left me alone to fend for myself.

I’m being a little dramatic, but I remember feeling naive and uneducated. Books can only help so much, and then it’s just you. I remember my first real problem arose at her one month checkup. She had to get three shots. 😦 Not something you want to put them through, but a must. She had handled her shots so well before, that I didn’t foresee any problems arising. Boy was I wrong. About two hours after her shots she began crying hysterically. High pitched, almost choking, can hardly breathe hysterical crying. I was panicked. I didn’t know how to make it better. I called my mom (my typical response in a crisis) in tears, begging her to help me fix it. She suggested giving her Tylenol. I was all set to do it until I realized I didn’t know how much to give her. I worried I would give her too much. So I spent another hour and a half trying to figure out the correct dosage. Ridiculous, I know. But I was clueless.

I spent about two months muddling through my awkward mommy stage. And it wasn’t pretty. I made mistakes. I cried. I was a bit intimidated by different situations. But the bottom line is that I made it through it. And all of a sudden one day I realized that I didn’t feel so awkward anymore. Aaliyah and I had made it through each situation unharmed and a little wiser, which made me realize that I could be a fantastic mom. I know now that we all have experienced this awkward stage. The key is to remember that it is just a stage and eventually it will all be over.

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